Me, My Plan and My Destiny
“Remember that you are a sole person and that nothing sweet, pleasant, beautiful or kind is ever going to stick by you forever. You must have your own plans. This plan would include you and your destiny and how you plan on getting to your destiny by yourself; alone.”
That’s what grandma used to tell me all the time. Every year, I’ve learnt to take her wisdom more seriously and I’ve begun to deeply appreciate what she was trying to instill in me.
I’ve come so far, crossing seas, boundaries, leaving behind people I love and have made choices that I’ve never thought I’d ever have to face in the entirity of my life. I’m at a point where I can look back and smile at the things I’ve endured and achieved but also look forward at the distance I still have ahead on my plan. What angers me is that even with experiences that I’ve endured, how I still have obviously not mastered the art of finding peace and happiness in making my journey in solitude.
Everyday is a revelation or a realization that I cannot blindly assume that I can cling on to somebody for sanctuary when a storm is brewing at a nearby horizon. My journey is “my” journey for a reason, is it not?
Solitude is remarkable because its tough as well as rewarding. There is nothing like solitude, a hot cup of Cappuccino and a chick-flick. But when it’s tough, you hate yourself for trusting people, making plans that include them and then hoping for a miracle! And it’s even more awfully depressing when you’ve included another person in one of those “mothers of all plans” and realize that the other person’s plans doesn’t include you at all! You are just nothing but a speck of insignificant stardust. You could have been a massively brilliant star before but now you realize you are just … nothing? You were probably never a part of their plan. It’s just that you thought that within all this worldly chaos, tyranny and cruelty that you are actually seeing a person who actually is willing to be your sanctuary.
Here is what a miracle would be. Me, my plan and my destiny! Me crossing those millions of miles ahead on my plan, fighting, sufferings, yet surviving and getting to that zenith where me, my plan and my destiny are at bliss!
Well guess what? I AM going to get there. Just me, my plan and my destiny.
